sure, call me Claudia

For those who have asked why slowhub is smart, this is why.

Long story short, I'm using maksonline express which supposedly got an upgrade from 6Mbps to 8 Mbps. Had problems loading my usual websites (no not pr0n) so I tested the connection using slowhub's utilities located on their website. It seems I was averaging about 4Mbps, half of what I was supposedly given. A letter of query was sent and this came back:

Dear Mr ----

Thank you for using our online utilities.

The following conditions must be fulfilled for an accurate test
result:

1. Computer connected directly to cable modem (i.e. bypass the
router, if any).
2. No wireless connection.
3. Latest Java plug-in (Download the latest at
http://www.java.com/en/download/manual.jsp)
4. Use UTP (100BaseT) whenever possible.
5. No other Internet software running

If the speed test does not meet the minimum speed despite fulfilling
the above conditions, we would appreciate it if you could provide us
with the following information so that our engineers may investigate:

1. HFC MAC ID (found at the barcode sticker on the cable modem):
XX:XX:XX:XX:XX:XX (Please verify)
2. Cable modem light status :
3. When did the problem start and what time the problem would occur
most likely:
4. Operating system (OS version / Service Pack):
5. Can the problem be resolved when PC directly connected to cable
modem (bypass router):
6. Firewall, anti-virus, peer-to-peer software running in your PC.
(Please include vendor and version) :
7. Have you done any tweaking to the Registry:
8. Does the problem persist when using another PC:
9. Port number and IP address of the site/server that is having
latency :
10. Test account userID and password (if any) :
11. Server admin's contact number or email :
12. Java Version (Refer to Utilities.txt for a guide to verify the
Java version) :
13. Please connect your cable modem directly to the computer,
bypassing any router when performing the following tests. 3 x
Download speed, ping statistic, traceroute to the website you
experience slow access, pathping, IP configuration detail. (Refer to
Utilities.txt for the guide to obtain the information from our
website)
14. Date and time the results are performed:
15. How long does it take for you to load up the website that you
experience slow access with?

If you require assistance in obtaining the above information, please
provide us your contact number, date and time that you will be at
home to guide you in obtaining the information.

If you have any questions on SlowHub Digital Cable and MaksOnline
services, please email to this address or fax in to .

Thank you and we await your reply.


Yours sincerely

name removed
Customer Affairs

Sure, want me to wax my legs, dye my hair blonde and change my name to Claudia Schiffer?

How many deadly blazing hoops of fire must I jump through before I can get the message 'My Internet connection is fucked, send someone over' through to you asses?

Customer Affairs? Seems apt considering you fuck your customers over and over again and not tell anyone.

So why are they smart? Coz people take one look at that to-do list and get cheesed off. I ask for help and you give me a to-do list? Go to hell. I've got my other things on my to-do list. Like world domination.